Refuel| Issue #1

🔥 Refuel | Issue #1

A Newsletter from Faith + Gasoline
📅 Subject: “Mom, are you okay?”

🛠️ Welcome to Refuel

Hey Fam,

One moment, they’re the ones taking care of you. The next? You’re the one making the tough decisions. Becoming a caregiver for a parent is a shift no one prepares for, and if you’re facing it now, you’re not alone. Approximately 53 million Americans provide unpaid care for adults, a labor valued at over $450 billion annually. This number has increased from 43.5 million in 2015, indicating a growing trend in unpaid caregiving responsibilities.

Maybe you saw it coming. Maybe it hit you all at once. Either way, I know this: it’s overwhelming, scary, and full of unknowns—but you will get through it.

🔥 This Week’s Theme: “I’m the Caregiver Now”

📖 Verse of the Week:
"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." – Isaiah 46:4

When your role shifts from child to caregiver, it can feel like everything has flipped upside down. The responsibilities pile up: medical decisions, finances, home care, emotional support. And then there’s the grief—because even though they’re still here, you’re grieving the change. And most of the time, neither parent will want to talk to you about it. They won’t want to broach the subject and will shut you down when you bring it up. Stay persistent. You have to make a plan!

Let’s take a deep breath together. Here’s what I wish I had known when I started this journey.

🚗 Story from the Road: The Day Everything Changed

I remember realizing my mother needed me in ways she never had before. She had always been strong, independent, and in control. But then came the little things: our childhood home had bugs for the first time since my dad bought a used refrigerator for our basement in 1981! She said she couldn’t afford an exterminator, but I informed her that she had purchased every Barack Obama book written, so…I hired an exterminator.

I did not know that was the beginning of her Alzheimer’s journey but it was. Her personality had changed, it was subtle, but the next 15 years would bring bigger, harder problems to solve. But I learned something: you don’t have to have all the answers to show up.

If you’re in that moment now—if you’ve just realized your role has changed—you’re not alone and don’t have to do it all today.

⛽ Quick Refuel: First Steps for New Caregivers

✅ Accept the Shift: Grieving this change while stepping into your new role is okay.
✅ Get Organized: Start with the basics—medical info, legal documents, and a list of needs.
✅ Ask for Help: You don’t have to do this alone. Family, friends, or even online support groups can help.
✅ Give Yourself Grace. You won’t do everything perfectly, and that’s okay. Showing up is the first step.

📌 Want to hear more about my caregiving experience? Click here for more of my observations: Catastrophe: Dementia Winter 🥶 #MadLove (Episode date 8/25/2023)

📚 Refuel Reads: This Week’s Book Recommendation

📖 The 36-Hour Day – Nancy L. Mace & Peter V. Rabins
💡 Why you need this book: If you’re stepping into caregiving—especially for a parent with dementia or age-related challenges—this book is a lifesaver.

These are unprecedented times, make sure you’re prepared. This is where I buy my gold every month: Acre 🚀💛🏆✨

Check out our Refuel swag ☕ 😊

If you liked this newsletter, share it with someone you love. We are in this together 💙

Love you.

With faith & fuel,
Judith A. Culp
Founder, Faith + Gasoline