Refuel #7

🔥 Refuel | Issue #7
A Newsletter from Faith + Gasoline
📅 Subject: Don’t Assume—Advocate: Why Your Voice Matters in Healthcare

🛠️ Welcome to Refuel

Hey Fam,

We trust doctors. We assume hospitals will do the right thing. But in today’s healthcare system, assumptions can be dangerous.

As a caregiver, your voice might be the only thing standing between your loved one and a misdiagnosis, medication error, or overlooked issue. No pressure.

The truth? You must advocate. Because without someone pushing for answers, asking hard questions, and tracking what’s being done, quality care often falls through the cracks. Even in the expensive facilities or the hospitals in the “nicer” areas. It doesn’t matter. You have to stand up for those you love in a respectful and forceful manner. You have to show up with love and respect. Let’s get into it.

🔥 This Week’s Theme: Advocacy Is a Part of the Care

📖 Verse of the Week:
“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.”
– Proverbs 31:8

Being an advocate means being their voice when they don’t know what to say and their shield when the system fails to see them. And they will fail to see them clearly if you don’t advocate for them. There are a lot more patients than good doctors. And many don’t want to be bothered with Alzheimer’s patients or anything chronic. Yeah, I know. More on that later.

🚗 Story from the Road: Remember the Doctors work for YOU

I used to assume doctors had it covered. After all, they’re the experts, right?

But then came the moment I realized something wasn’t right. My mom’s favorite doctor left his practice after COVID-19. He had been so responsive and helpful, and she remembered him, so this was devastating. After an extensive search, we tried the doctor who was in charge of the dementia program at a fairly prestigious hospital. He was a disaster. Rude and dismissive. I had taken my mom to the hospital for her not sleeping issue, and I called his office, and nobody called me back. After she was discharged, he told us we never call when a patient is hospitalized - I stated, but I called you and expected a call back. On to the next doctor who met with my mom for five minutes before declaring - well, I guess she doesn’t remember anything, huh? I was livid. I told him I put on the paperwork she had dementia. Then, this clown said he refused to do anything else until she saw a neurologist. Well, she had seen a neurologist already, and why should we keep getting tests to confirm she has Alzheimer’s and taking pills that don’t work? I was furious - he was also my doctor, and we both never returned to this unprofessional. We did find her a great doctor who we only saw once before she entered hospice, but he did call and give his condolences when she passed away. Great man.

The moral of the story is that you shouldn’t expect a lot of help from the doctors. Many of them have absolutely nothing for long-term chronic diseases like Alzheimer’s. You will have to find one you can work with - but they work for you, not the other way around.

Know this going in: Advocacy isn’t optional—it’s essential.

⚠️ The Hard Truth About Healthcare

🔴 Many older adults are misdiagnosed or ignored due to age bias.
🔴 Confused patients often agree to things they don’t understand.
🔴 Short-staffed hospitals mean less time, fewer questions, and more risk.

📌 Bottom Line: The system is flawed. You can’t afford to be silent.

⛽ Quick Refuel: 6 Ways to Advocate Like a Pro

✅ 1. Show Up
❌ Don’t assume they’ll be “fine” alone → ✅ Be there when possible. Video call in when you can’t.

✅ 2. Ask Questions
❌ Don’t accept vague answers → ✅ Ask: What is this for? What are the side effects? What if we wait?

✅ 3. Write it Down
❌ Don’t trust memory → ✅ Keep a running log in your Notes app or a notebook.

✅ 4. Push for Clarity
❌ Don’t nod and leave → ✅ Repeat what you heard back to confirm understanding. You will find it will be your word against theirs at times.

✅ 5. Get Documentation
❌ Don’t rely on verbal instructions → ✅ Ask for a copy of everything: meds, labs, summaries.

✅ 6. Escalate When Needed
❌ Don’t be intimidated → ✅ Ask for another provider or a patient advocate if necessary.

📌 Takeaway: Quiet caregivers often miss critical information. Loud ones get answers. And don’t be afraid to fire doctors or caregivers who don’t meet the standard of care you have set for your loved one!

🛤️ Faith in Motion: A Simple Prayer

"God, give me the courage to speak up, the wisdom to know what to ask, and the strength to keep showing up—especially when it’s hard. Let my voice be clear, firm, and full of love. Amen."

📌 Next Steps

💡💡Also, if you’d like to nominate a caregiver, I’d love to send them a free coffee mug! REFUEL - submit their email address and send a reply to this email!
📢 Know someone dealing with the healthcare system right now? Forward this issue. It could save a life.
🎥 Now playing: This is my first guest appearance! I am very passionate about this topic, and I don’t want anyone to be as surprised as I was…

🔥🔥You’ve got the strength. Now, use your voice.🔥🔥 

We are in this together. Community is the new currency. 💙💙💙💙

💙💙💙💙💙Love you. Go be great!💙💙💙💙💙

Refuel and keep going.

With faith & fuel,
Judith A. Culp
Founder, Faith + Gasoline