Thanks everyone!! #43 issues - what a milestone. We will be moving from weekly, but I have heard from many of you, and I will continue to publish. This newsletter has been in the top 20-40% since it started. Thank you so much!
Refuel: Before the Crisis, After the Crisis
What You Know Now That You Didn’t Then
At the beginning of this year, many of us were still bracing.
Holding our breath.
Managing the unmanageable.
Caregiving doesn’t arrive with instructions.
Crisis doesn’t ask if you’re ready.
And endurance doesn’t always look brave while you’re inside it.
But here’s what this year gave you — whether you asked for it or not: knowing.
Not theory.
Not advice.
Knowing was earned the hard way.
Before the Crisis
You may have believed:
You had to do it all yourself
Asking for help meant failing
Rest was something you’d earn later
Love meant sacrificing yourself completely
If you just tried harder, things would stabilize
Those beliefs made sense.
They were survival tools — not flaws.
After the Crisis
Now you know:
Burnout is not a personal weakness — it’s a system failure
Waiting too long costs more than stepping in early
Documentation matters more than intentions
Your body keeps score before your mind does
Peace is not laziness — it’s a signal
You also know your limits.
And that knowledge is a form of power.
What You’d Do Sooner Now
Have the hard conversation
Get the paperwork started
Ask one specific person for help
Stop minimizing your own exhaustion
Protect your health like it’s non-negotiable
Not because you’re pessimistic.
Because you’re informed.
What You’d Stop Apologizing For
Being tired
Changing your mind
Choosing simplicity
Wanting support
Letting some things go unfinished
You weren’t quitting.
You were conserving what mattered.
What This Year Quietly Taught You
That you are more capable than you ever wanted to prove.
That love without boundaries will drain you.
That clarity often comes after the most challenging part.
And maybe most importantly:
You don’t need another crisis to justify doing things differently.
As This Year Closes
Let this be the week you stop reliving the “before.”
Let the “after” be enough.
You are not behind.
You are not weak.
You are not obligated to return to who you were.
You are allowed to carry the wisdom forward —
and leave the weight here.
Listen, 2026 may be the year you are called to serve. If you become a full-time caregiver, you will experience a myriad of emotions. Take your creatine, get some sleep, go for walks, talk to your friends and family, go on date nights, and remember to fall in love with your life. Go. Be. Great. 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
Love you,
judith. (see ya sometime in January - moving to bi-weekly or monthly!)
