The signs, the plan, the paperwork, and the hard conversations that save families.

Most people don’t become caregivers gradually.
They become caregivers on a Tuesday.

A phone call.
A fall.
A hospital visit.
A tiny moment that turns into a life-changing one.

But if I’ve learned anything from my own journey, it’s this:

The crisis rarely comes without a few clues.
You just have to know what you’re looking at.

2026 may be the year you need to step in. Or maybe it’s the year you simply begin paying attention, because something in your spirit knows a shift is coming. Either way, this Refuel is your guide to preparing before life forces you to.

Many of you won’t have to or want to step into the degree I did - and that’s okay. But many of you will, and I firmly believe we need to have these conversations, just in case.

Let’s get you ready 🚀🚀🚀

Caregiving often begins long before you use the word “caregiver.”
It begins with subtle shifts:

Each of these could be aging - or it could be behavioral changes that should make you think.

When these signs cluster, caregiving isn’t coming — it has already begun.

These are the symptoms that tell you it’s time to shift into another gear:

Don’t rationalize these away.
Don’t let your parent minimize them.
These are early crisis indicators.

Naming what you see is the first act of caregiving.

This is the part nobody wants to talk about — until it’s too late.
There is no caregiving without paperwork. Period.

Here’s what you need in place before 2026 surprises you:

If your parent won’t discuss these documents, it’s because they think talking about aging makes aging happen faster.

Reassure them:

Paperwork doesn’t bring crisis — it prevents disaster. If they care about you and trust you - use that. You don’t want probate court. And remember, don’t just do a Power of Attorney because it’s useless once they pass away. DO THEM ALL! Thank me later.

Taking the car keys is the most emotional transition in aging.
It represents independence, pride, and adulthood.

But it can also become the difference between life and death.

Here are the signs it may be time:

These are not “senior moments.”
These are safety failures.

And they won’t like it. My mother forgot almost everything, but remembered that I sold her car and told me every day, “Judy sold my car!”

Lead with love, not control:

Your message:

“I’m not taking your freedom.
I’m protecting your life — and the lives of others.”

This is one of the hardest decisions a caregiver will ever make.
But it is also one of the most loving.

Preparation doesn’t remove all stress — it simply keeps you from drowning.

Here’s a simple Caregiver Starter Plan:

When the moment comes, you’ll be amazed at how much these basics keep you calm.

This is the part no one tells you:

Caregiving will expose every weakness in your body, mind, and spirit.

So prepare:

Your health determines the quality of your caregiving — in the later stages there’s a lot of hoisting, lifting and things that require strength.

Love is constant.
Energy is not.

Prepare your body before they need your strength.

Caregiving changes you — but preparing for caregiving protects you.

Whether you step in next year, or simply plant the seeds, remember:

You can do this.

Trust your plan.

and

Lean into this time. The last few holidays meant nothing to my mom. But before she got sick - she LOVED them. She was big on family. Enjoy yours as much as possible. We don’t know what the future holds!

Love you.

judith.