Refuel #4

🔥 Refuel #4

A Newsletter from Faith + Gasoline
📅 Subject: When It’s Time to Hire Some Help

🛠️ Welcome to Refuel

Hey Fam,

Caregiving often starts small—running errands, handling appointments, checking in daily. But as time goes on, the needs grow, and one day, you realize: I might need some more help.

That moment can bring guilt, fear, and uncertainty. When is it time to ask for help? Who should you trust? What if a facility is the right choice? Today, we’re diving into these questions—because asking for help isn’t a weakness. It’s the smart thing to do. I did a lot by myself, but I probably could have used help a year before I asked for it.

🔥 This Week’s Theme: Knowing When It’s Time to Ask for Help

📖 Verse of the Week:
"Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed." – Proverbs 15:22

Caregiving is one of the most demanding jobs in the world. You’re not meant to do it alone. Here’s how to recognize when it’s time to bring in support—and what kind of help is available. You have to assess the situation and come up with a solution your loved ones will go along with. You need all of your diplomacy skills.

🚗 Story from the Road: The Day I Realized I Couldn’t Do It Alone

My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2020 - I didn’t get outside help until 2022.

For the longest time, I thought I could just handle it all. My job offered me flexibility, allowing me to keep my Covid hybrid work schedule, which was a huge help. My mother was still getting up daily, dressed, watching TV, and housing Cheez-its. The idea of bringing in a caregiver seemed unnecessary until it didn’t. I had been able to leave her a note and some breakfast, and she would be fine until I got home at noon. Around 2022, it became clear that she wasn’t sleeping well, so she would be awake sometimes for 24 hours. Ugh. It resembled a manic state, so I didn’t want to leave her alone. She was exhausted ( I was too, for that matter), but I had to go to the office. More on that later.

But one night, after weeks of exhaustion, I asked my brother if he would cover the cost of a caregiver coming in. It started with 4 hours a week, 3 days a week. I was super skeptical about letting a stranger in my house, and many people had advised me to hire a person to come and sit with her. Be prepared; you will get a lot of unsolicited advice. I felt a company made more sense because I could hold them accountable if something happened to my mom under their care. I am big on accountability, so I reached out to multiple companies, and the first one to respond got our business.

🚨 Signs It’s Time to Get Help

✅ Your loved one’s needs are increasing beyond what you can manage.
✅ You’re physically or emotionally exhausted.
✅ Your own health, work, or relationships are suffering.
✅ Your loved one is isolated, and you can’t always be there.
✅ You’re feeling overwhelmed.

📌 If you’re nodding to any of these, it’s time to explore options.

⛽ Quick Refuel: Types of Help Available

💡 Family & Friends

• Best for: Short-term help, running errands, meal prep, companionship, and doctor’s appointments.

• Red Flag: Be clear about expectations—don’t assume family will automatically step up.

  

💡 Hiring an In-Home Caregiver

• Best for: When medical, hygiene, or full-time supervision is needed.

• What to Look For:
  ✅ Experience with elderly care or dementia
  ✅ Background check and references
  ✅ Compatibility with your loved one’s personality

  Don’t be afraid to speak up - if the person isn’t a fit, don’t wait around.

💡 Is It Time for Assisted Living or a Nursing Home?

• Signs it’s time:
  ✅ Your loved one is unsafe at home (falls, wandering, neglecting needs).
  ✅ Full-time care is needed, and home help isn’t enough.
  ✅ Caregiver burnout is affecting your well-being.

📌 Hard Truth: Moving to a facility isn’t "giving up"—it’s ensuring your loved one gets the best possible care. If you can afford it, look into it.

📜 Planning for Elder Care & Probate: Do It Now, Not Later

💰 What Happens If You Don’t Plan?
Many families delay planning until it’s too late—when a medical crisis forces decisions they weren’t ready for. Here’s what you need to do NOW:

✅ Power of Attorney (POA): Allows you to handle finances and medical decisions if your loved one can’t.
✅ Living Will: Ensures their wishes for medical care are honored.
✅ Long-Term Care Plan: How will care be paid for? (Medicaid? Savings? Veterans Benefits?)
✅ Probate & Estate Planning: Who inherits what? Without a will, the courts decide.

📌 Need help? Talk to an elder care attorney now—before you’re in crisis mode.

📚 Refuel Reads: This Week’s Book Recommendation

📖 The Complete Elder Care Planner – Joy Loverde
💡 Why you need this book: A step-by-step guide to preparing for caregiving, legal issues, and financial planning.

📌 Takeaway Tip: The best way to honor your loved one’s wishes is to plan while they’re still able to decide✅✅✅lone? Forward this email and help them get support.

🎥 Now playing: A Faith + Gasoline YouTube video on “How Will You Pay for Long-Term Care?”

Subscribe to the YouTube channel: Faith+Gasoline

I’m not a financial advisor, but you will need to make good investments — buy gold where I’ve bought gold since 2019: Acre 🏆💛✨

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We are in this together — community is the new currency. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

Love you.

With faith & fuel,
Judith A. Culp
Founder, Faith + Gasoline