Before the crisis hits, you need to be in the best shape of your life.
Not perfect. Not skinny. Not running marathons.
Just strong enough — physically, mentally, spiritually — to carry what caregiving will demand from you. I spent the last 3 years of my mom’s life - lifting her, cleaning her, washing endless loads of laundry. Before she stopped walking on her own, she developed a fear of sitting on the toilet, which meant you had to guide her into the bathroom and help her sit. She was strong - when she didn’t want to be moved, you had to make her.

Nobody tells you this part. When people do open up it’s usually about the other stuff.

People talk about paperwork.
They talk about money.
They talk about doctors and insurance.

They don’t talk about you, the vessel.

But the truth is this:
Caregiving will ask more of your body, mind, and spirit than any season of your life.
And if you’re not prepared, it can take you out.

Today’s issue is the guide I wish I had before I stepped into my caregiving chapter.

Let’s talk about how to get into shape now.

Caregiving looks gentle from the outside.

In reality?

It’s physical labor.
You’re lifting, bending, reaching, walking, carrying, catching, pushing, and holding.

The No. 1 reason caregivers burn out physically is that they weren’t prepared for the level of physical strength the job requires. It is an endurance challenge.

You don’t need a gym membership.
You need functionality:

Your body has to support two people — you, and the person leaning on you.

Start with 10 minutes:

That’s it.
Consistency beats intensity.
Your future self will thank you.

And get a massage or foot bath because the days are long. And if you choose to take care of someone until they transition, it can be gruelling.

Caregiving is not a sprint.
It’s not even a marathon.

It’s a long-distance ultra with emotional obstacles.

If you’re not used to going long hours, disrupted sleep, or holding tension day after day, you can hit a wall quickly.

To build stamina:

If caregiving doesn’t take your breath away, your body will have more space to support your soul.

Caregiving is 70% emotional management and 30% logistics.

Your nervous system becomes the stabilizer for someone who is scared, confused, hurting, or declining.
You have to stay calm when nothing about the situation feels calm.

Strengthen your nervous system by:

Caregiving without emotional regulation is like driving without brakes. I had an Alzheimer’s patient, and after the 30th time a person asks you the same question, you will be drawing from all of the patience you have. Meditation helped me tremendously.

You become:

If you’re not strengthening your mental muscle, the load becomes overwhelming.

Strengthen your mental acuity by:

A calmer mind makes you a better caregiver.

There is no caregiving journey without spiritual impact.
Your faith, your trust, your connection to God — it becomes your lifeline.

You need a spiritual foundation that can hold you when the room is quiet, or when the hospital is loud, or when you’re standing alone in the hallway trying not to break.

Build that foundation:

You cannot carry another person’s life without being anchored in your own.

Boundaries are not built during crisis.
During crisis, everything is reactive.

Build them when you’re clear:

Boundaries make caregiving sustainable instead of sacrificial. And you will have to enforce them. One of mine was simple - I am not listening to your advice if you haven’t come over and taken a shift.

You cannot do caregiving alone.
You’ll try, but you can’t.

Before you enter the role:

The strongest caregivers are surrounded — not isolated. Let your friends take you to brunch. Go to a movie. Get to the park and go for a long walk. Do date night. Keep your life balanced.

I’m going to say this with love:

You matter.
Your health matters.
Your strength matters.
Your preparation matters.

If you go into caregiving depleted, it will break you.

If you go into it strong, it will stretch you but not destroy you.

You deserve to be prepared.
You deserve to be supported.
You deserve to be in shape — body, mind, and spirit — for the work ahead.

Hopefully you will have help, but you might not.

Pay for someone to come in the first time you even think about it. The longer you put it off, the harder you’re being on yourself!

I am winding down the weekly newsletter because it’s becoming challenging to do it with my schedule. But I am throwing everything I can think of to help you because 2026 is fast approaching and many of you are starting this journey whether you realize it or not!!

You got this!

judith.