The word hospice can stop a family in its tracks.
It sounds like defeat — like surrender.
But hospice is not the end of hope. It’s the beginning of peace.

For many families, it’s the first time care truly centers on comfort, dignity, and love — and for many caregivers, it's the first time they receive support.
Hospice doesn’t mean “we’re done.” It means we’re done fighting the wrong battles.

So much fear surrounds the word because we’ve been conditioned to think hospice means instant death. It can mean that, but not always.
Hospice isn’t about death — it’s about life, and how we live until the very last breath.

Here’s what most people don’t know:

And if your loved one is chronically ill, hospice can be the comfort you have been waiting for. However, let’s be clear - a lot can happen between diagnosis and admission to hospice care.

Watching someone you love move toward the end of life is heartbreaking — but it can also be holy.
Hospice invites families to slow down, to listen, to be present.
There’s laughter in hospice rooms, stories, songs, and reconciliations.

We did hospice at home, and I was glad to have the time with my mom. But it’s a serious schedule. I was working full-time and managing the hospice team. You will get a flurry of phone calls and coordinate visits, but it’s worth it. I used Mercy Hospice, and our team was magnificent.

My mom also got a massage therapist to come in and help ease the leg pain. She was in it the entire year of 2024. It was a great blessing to me - and apparently, I am the Michael Jordan of caregiving. One nurse even asked me if our condo was a professional hospice house. I am guessing it’s because I always buy fresh flowers. However, cleanliness and atmosphere are integral to the care.

❤️‍🩹 Letting go doesn’t mean you stop loving. It means you love without control.

Faith is the courage to trust that God’s mercy shows up in every form — even in a hospital bed, even in goodbye.
Gasoline is the strength to keep going when your heart wants to stop.
Together, they remind you that this moment — this sacred threshold — is not abandonment. It’s arrival.

Hospice is not where the story ends. But don’t kid yourself - this story is going to end. Why we get so freaked out about letting our loved ones die, I don’t know. I just wanted to give my mom the dignity the medical industry lacks. My sister and I toured facilities where patients were parked in front of TVs, and people wandered the halls. Some were clean, some smelled of urine. It was easy to see that there would be times my mom wouldn’t get the attention we would want for her. And you have to decide what you’re going to do for your mom, dad, husband, or sibling.

If you are walking this path, know this:
You are not giving up.
You are guiding your loved one home — with grace, courage, and peace. 🌅💙

And absolutely nobody else will do this for you.

After December, I will no longer be publishing a weekly newsletter. Thank you to all who have reached out. I may do something quarterly, but this takes up a significant amount of time for something I do for free. I love doing it, and it has helped me immensely during this first year following my mom’s transition. This has been very cathartic, and I hope you know that every time you read one of these newsletters and feel moved to do something, that’s all I could wish for. I feel like I can see this giant thing coming that people don’t want to acknowledge. But I survived it, and I hope you take this info and do it with more knowledge than I had going in, which was none. God bless you, and I am glad I am done. But I miss Peggy Culp - make no mistake about that!

Please take care.

judith.